Tag:Marshall
Posted on: September 3, 2008 7:08 pm
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Barbarians Begin Siege of BCS

Discarding stealth in all forms, Barbarian tribes (aka non-BCS schools) began their all-out attack on the Holy BCS Empire by burning and pillaging their way to four huge victories in week one.

East Carolina Plunders Virginia Tech 27-22.  This had to be sweet for the Pirates, living just over the border from "civilized" ACC land.  They just stormed the mountain passes and took it to Virginia Tech.  ECU befuddled Tech's anemic offense and scratched out enough points on their own to seal the win.  The deciding play?  ECU ripped the Beamerball sword from V Tech and thrust it through their heart with a blocked punt for a TD with less than two minutes remaining.  The game was close throughout.  No fluke here folks.  The Pirates bested the Hokies in rushing and passing yardage and time of posession.  They even threw away two fumbles, gave up 60 more yards in penalties and messed up an extra point that Tech returned for 2 points.  Next up for the marauding Pirates?  The Kingdom of West Virginia invades the Pirates' Greenville hideout this weekend.  Better bring more than muskets Mountaineers.  It'll take some heavy guns to dislodge the scourge of North Carolina.

Utah Tomahawks Michigan  25-23.  Sweeping down out of the Mountain West Conference like the Mongol tribes of old, the Utes blazed to a 25-10 lead and then hung on for the win.  Michigan's new offense had teething problems as expected.  But the Wolverines defense also succumbed to the Utes' air attack, led by QB Brian Johnson who was 21-34-1 for 305 yards.  Both teams treated the ground as if it was teeming with rattlesnakes and gained only 36 yards apiece.  Kicker Louie Sakoda added to the number of airborne footballs with field goals of 28, 41, 43, and 53 yards.  Sakoda also showed that barbarians can be eloquent on occasion by stating, "Non-BCS teams should get a shot at a championship every year."  Utah Coach Kyle Whittingham noted, "It shouldn't have been as close as it was."  Next up for the Utes? UNLV.  Start running now Rebels.  You'll need all the head start you can get.

Bowling Green Ambushes Pitt 27-17.  ambush n.: a trap in which concealed persons lie in wait to attack by suprise.  Pitt was 24-0 against MAC teams at home.  Surprise!  Not any more.  The Falcons held Panther RB LeSean McCoy to 71 yards rushing and used some razzle-dazzle such as WR Freddie Barnes hitting Jimmy Scheidler with a 5 yd. TD pass.  Pitt was also a generous host, serving up three fumbles and an interception.  So despite dominating statistically, Pitt came up short on the scoreboard.  Falcons coach  Gregg Brandon showed that barbarians can be honest as well.  "We're not supposed to beat those people." said Brandon.  Well Gregg, the times they are a-changing!

Fresno State Goes Transcontinental on Rutgers 24-7.  Fresno flew from California on a charter plane so small, it had to stop in Kansas to refuel.  All seats were taken, and they arrived in New Jersey the Sunday before the Monday 4:00 pm game.  So the fact that Rutgers stuffed their offense the first half makes sense.  Apparently a fire and brimstone speech Coach Pat Hill in the locker room woke up the Bulldogs who outscored Rutgers by 17 after halftime. Solid run defense and rushing offense got the job done for Fresno who converted a 3rd and 23 inside the Rutgers 5 to keep a drive going after Rutgers closed to 10-7 in the fourth quarter.  Two missed field goals and Rutgers' decision to go for it on 4th and goal at the 3 yard line also loomed large in the result.  RB Ryan Matthews ran for 163 yards, mostly after the half.  It's no fun having barbarians come into your house and rip out your heart.  Trust me, I know.  Next target for this barbarian pack of wolves?  The Badgers of Wisconsin make the trip to Fresno on September 13th.  Beware Wisconsin.  I know badgers are vicious but these dogs attack in packs. 

 

 
 
 
 
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